Basing my life on Reality: Or, what am I doing here, really?

After celebrating Christmas, Gabe, age 7, and Hallie, age 4, made a video to thank their grandparents for their gifts. In his speech Gabe rattled off the gifts that he had received and all of his "thank-yous," then ended his talk with "amen." Realizing that he had mixed genres, he first smiled, then scowled and covered his face, then finally went into his full "Charlie Brown" head-and-shoulder-slump. Watching the video, we howled: he was unbelievable cute. His mix of prayer and "thank you speech" was funny; his reaction to his mistake, even funnier. We never felt that he was stupid, had humiliated himself or the family, or had offended anyone. We could not love him more. We didn't mull over the far-reaching consequences of his mistake other than to consider the fame that he could have if the video were posted to YouTube:) But Gabe felt completely shamed.

We have a reality that we live by and then there is the Real Reality - the way things truly are. As Christians, we think that God tells us the way things really are. But we are much like Gabe - we get so caught up in our own perceptions and concerns that we let our emotions and reactions be guided by our own realities rather than what God says is true.

There are two central realities, both rooted in scripture, that have had a lot of meaning for me in my life and the work that I have been called to do. The first reality is that I have been given riches to share.

During my teens I don't think that I ever considered that I had riches to share - especially "spiritual" riches. As a Christian teen, I had little if any appreciation for the grace of God, for his goodness, beauty and love. When I reflect back on my life, I think that maybe I did not appreciate these treasures because I had not heard a message of grace, love, and the beauty and goodness of God. I was raised by Christian parents, went to a Christian school, and attended church "every time the doors were open," but somehow I did not understand or experience God as treasure. What I understood more than anything from my religious training was the call to be morally pure, to be constantly on guard against sin, and to believe and conform to laws regarding worship and ecclesiology. I was continually hearing "repent," and my motivation was to fear God who, in the end, would judge me and would throw me into hell for any infractions. Not a lot here to feel warm and fuzzy about.

Of course, repentance is a good, necessary, and very biblical concept - and I needed to hear it - but in my immaturity it was difficult to be thankful for that message. Without a doubt, I needed to change my agenda: I needed to change from the pursuit of my agenda that was getting me nothing but disappointment and was leaving a trail of hurt along the way. But during my teens I was hearing the message of repentance as part of an oppressive scheme that I feared and hated. Later, after "hitting bottom," I was "hit" by the love of God - I "heard ... and understood God's grace in all its truth" (Col. 1: 6). I began to realize the treasure that I had in God. Instead of being petty, vindictive and mean spirited, God was good, beautiful, loving, and full of grace. He loved the world, and the world included me. As I read his Word and attempted to follow his instructions for life, I began experiencing his presence. Instead of feeling fear and dread, I felt wonder and joy fill me.

Immediately, this understanding and experience of God created purpose for me. I needed to share this good news of who God is and what he has done and is doing. I related strongly to the lepers of 2 Kings 7 who had been starving along with the rest of their people during a siege of their capital city, Samaria. When they find food and riches in the deserted camp of their enemies, they know that "this is a day of good news" and they could not keep it to themselves. They had treasure to share.

In my work and life at Dallas Christian and everywhere else, this idea has formed a basic understanding for what I am supposed to be doing. I have good things to share; I need to be pointing people to the treasure, telling them the good news. We have a loving God who has forgiven us all of our sin and given us life, who has done and continues to do everything to heal, support, and empower us, showering us with beauty, goodness and love.

While this understanding of my calling continues to resonate with me, I don't believe that it captures the fullness of God's intention for us. While it is true that we are called to be witnesses to what God has done in Christ and what he continues to do, so much of our lives and our work does not fit the paradigm of sharing treasure - especially when we think of this sharing as a verbal witness to God's grace and love. When we are able to tell others about this great and beautiful God who has saved us and given us life, the ones with whom we share often do not hear our message as "good news" or find it to be treasure. Instead, they may hear our good news as fairy tale or as an offer for self-imprisonment. In my next post I will write about what I think is a more comprehensive understanding of our calling as Jesus' disciples that is helping me in my life and work.